It was Tuesday, the 11th of January, 1943. Very early in the morning, I took a dip in the holy waters of the north-flowing Ganges, the saviour of the fallen, at the Manikarnika Ghat in Shridham Varanasi. I decorated the twelve parts of my body with Tilak-marks of sandalwood paste and sat down facing east on a wooden seat beneath a large bamboo parasol. I closed my eyes and began to recite my mantra. At that time, rising in the east, the morning sun with his virgin lustre began to scatter his rays over the bare body of the sleeping earth, as if to tear off the thick veil of mist covering her. Occasionally, a sweet symphony to my ears was created by the soothing sound of some divinity or holy sage stirring up the water of the Ganges by bathing not afar.
Suddenly, my closed eyes were opened and I began to see, as if with newly gifted vision, a golden lotus floating down the current of the Ganges, that carries the fragrance of the lotus feet of Lord Vishnu. It filled all the directions with its light, and when the lotus opened up and blossomed, blue-throated Lord Maheshvar Shiva himself appeared from it, with a bodily lustre outshining the sun itself! His tall stature was as white as the autumn moon, his ochre robe put the brilliance of lightning to shame, over his breast he has a pure holy thread, around his neck swung a garland of fully blossomed roses reaching all the way down to his feet, his hands were decorated with golden armlets, his wrists with jewelled bangles, and from his ears hung rings inlaid with pearls. His eyes beamed with compassion, and his delicate face had the lustre of a smile. In his left hand he held a trident for vanquishing sin. He extended his right lotus-hand and touched me on my head as if to bless me – and disappeared. Suddenly a voice rang from heaven. “My son, the purpose of your stay at Kashi is fulfilled; now move on to Shridham Vrindavan. Your desire will be fulfilled.”
What had I seen? What had I heard? Was it reality or a dream? No – it was but a maddening illusion. My meditation was broken – opening my eyes I saw that the sun god had risen in the eastern sky. Manikarnika Ghat was full of people, and nearby the flames of funeral pyres reminded me of how temporary human life truly is.
Bursting with delight, I left the Ghat, and, musing, began to proceed in slow steps towards the temple of Vishvanath. “O Lord Maheshvar, preceptor of the universe! Will not this dream of mine come true? Or it is just an illusion? I have no spiritual practices or internal worship to my credit. Then tell me, o Lord, what made you shower such causeless compassion on me, your wretched servant? Alas, my mind is restless and polluted with uncertainty, and I do not know what to believe of this gift. O Lord! If your divine words really are true, then may it be proven by my getting a rose garland at the rightmost of the four flower stalls at the main gate of the temple of Vishvanath. Offering that garland at your form as a Linga, I shall obtain firm faith and pray that I may gather courage and firmness to move on in the path of my future life.”
The more I proceeded towards the Vishvanath temple with this childish determination, my warm heart-beatings accelerated – my body and limbs began to be slowed down and my legs became heavy. “If I do not get the garland of flowers in that flower stall, my pleasant dream will be torn to pieces with one cruel blow. O Lord, give me strength, protect the treasure of my faith, don’t deprive me of your compassion – don’t turn my life into misery and failure!”
Suddenly, my closed eyes were opened and I began to see, as if with newly gifted vision, a golden lotus floating down the current of the Ganges, that carries the fragrance of the lotus feet of Lord Vishnu. It filled all the directions with its light, and when the lotus opened up and blossomed, blue-throated Lord Maheshvar Shiva himself appeared from it, with a bodily lustre outshining the sun itself! His tall stature was as white as the autumn moon, his ochre robe put the brilliance of lightning to shame, over his breast he has a pure holy thread, around his neck swung a garland of fully blossomed roses reaching all the way down to his feet, his hands were decorated with golden armlets, his wrists with jewelled bangles, and from his ears hung rings inlaid with pearls. His eyes beamed with compassion, and his delicate face had the lustre of a smile. In his left hand he held a trident for vanquishing sin. He extended his right lotus-hand and touched me on my head as if to bless me – and disappeared. Suddenly a voice rang from heaven. “My son, the purpose of your stay at Kashi is fulfilled; now move on to Shridham Vrindavan. Your desire will be fulfilled.”
What had I seen? What had I heard? Was it reality or a dream? No – it was but a maddening illusion. My meditation was broken – opening my eyes I saw that the sun god had risen in the eastern sky. Manikarnika Ghat was full of people, and nearby the flames of funeral pyres reminded me of how temporary human life truly is.
Bursting with delight, I left the Ghat, and, musing, began to proceed in slow steps towards the temple of Vishvanath. “O Lord Maheshvar, preceptor of the universe! Will not this dream of mine come true? Or it is just an illusion? I have no spiritual practices or internal worship to my credit. Then tell me, o Lord, what made you shower such causeless compassion on me, your wretched servant? Alas, my mind is restless and polluted with uncertainty, and I do not know what to believe of this gift. O Lord! If your divine words really are true, then may it be proven by my getting a rose garland at the rightmost of the four flower stalls at the main gate of the temple of Vishvanath. Offering that garland at your form as a Linga, I shall obtain firm faith and pray that I may gather courage and firmness to move on in the path of my future life.”
The more I proceeded towards the Vishvanath temple with this childish determination, my warm heart-beatings accelerated – my body and limbs began to be slowed down and my legs became heavy. “If I do not get the garland of flowers in that flower stall, my pleasant dream will be torn to pieces with one cruel blow. O Lord, give me strength, protect the treasure of my faith, don’t deprive me of your compassion – don’t turn my life into misery and failure!”